Notes & Answers
I’m Trudie, a therapist, writer and co-founder of Elephants in Rooms. I spend a lot of time thinking about why people do the things they do, particularly the things that don’t make much sense until you look a little closer.
This is where I write about grief, neurodivergence, therapy and the strange business of being human. Some pieces explore questions people ask. Others are simply things I’ve been thinking about.
Have you got a question for me? Get in touch.
Is it awful to be angry with someone who’s died?
We’re told not to speak ill of the dead, but what if you’re furious with them? Why anger can be part of grief, even if you loved them.
Why can’t I manage the simplest things since someone died?
The email goes unanswered. The washing stays in the machine. Why can everyday jobs take so much more effort when you’re grieving?
No, you’re not doing grief wrong
You can miss someone terribly and still laugh at something silly. Grief makes more sense when we stop expecting stages.
How do you feel isn’t always the best question
“How do you feel?” seems a kind question. But answering it involves more than we realise, especially when someone is neurodivergent.